Fellowshipping

The fellowshipper should keep in mind these other guidelines:

Appreciate the subjectiveness involved in how fellowshippers see themselves and others. Remember that human differences are whatever fellowshippers define them to be and their relevance is whatever fellowshippers believe them to be.

Self-Awareness is of critical importance. Constantly examine your attitudes and behaviour and be alert to be the possibility that you are making judgements based on racism, prejudice, and stereotypes, or perhaps, behaving in a discriminatory manner. Frequently ask yourself, “What is my attitude toward people of different cultural backrounds?” How do I feel about the people who have a different skin color or speak a different language?” How do I feel about the people who have religious beliefs different from my own?”

Early in the relationship, you should acknowledge the existence of differences of ethnicity or race as a way of giving the fellowshipper permission to talk about these matters and express concerns about not being accepted or understood. Encourage fellowshippers’ you meet to identify perceived differences and to explain how these differences might be addressed in a professional relationship and service delivery.

Show a special interest in the fellowshipper’s name, place of birth, and home community, for these topics are good icebreakers and lead naturally to a discussion of client’s cultural backround and ethnic identity. A fellowshipper who might experience difficulty with the English language should be asked if an interpreter is needed.

If you will be working with many fellowshippers who speak another language as their first primary language, strive to learn as much of that language as possible. Make an effort to speak the fellowshippers language, even if you can master no more than a few words and phrases. Doing so will be viewed as a basic courtesy and as showing respect for the fellowshipper’s native language and culture.

Overlooking the fellowshipper’s strength, misreading non-verbal communication, and mis-understanding family dynamics are among the most common errors made in cross-cultural helping. Behaviors motivated by religion and spirituality, family obligations and sex roles are often misunderstood. Because of the difficulty of reading non-verbal cues cross-culturally, the fellowshipper should move slowly when reaching for feelings and putting the others’ feelings into words. Overlooking strength results when you don’t fully appreciate the situation—especially the contextual and systemic aspects—with which the other person must cope.

Be alert to the fact that in many ethnic families, certain members are the key decision makers and other family members will not make an important decision without consulting that member. For example, in many Filipino families, the husband and father typically has considerable authority and his wife and even his adult children may feel obligated to obtain his or her approval before taking course of action. Also, within the extended families common to the Canadian Indian tribal cultures, certain individuals perform the role of advisor and other family members will delay making a decision until they have obtained his or her advice on the matter. Thus, it is always a good idea to ask the person if he or she wants to invite others to interview or somehow involve them in the decision making. Not frequently, others who want to clarify a situation will simply bring these respected individuals to important meetings.

Be alert to the subtleties and the limitations inherent in the use of language. Recognize the influence of language of how one thinks or is able to think about certain matters. Whenever we use a word, we call up on our minds a concept or a “picture” of what the words means. A given word may call forth somewhat different thoughts and ideas, depending on the culture. Clearly, it is in our use of language that we encounter differences in how fellowshippers think and interpret experiences.

Because of members of many ethnic minority groups have experienced discrimination, it is to be expected that they will be somewhat distrustful of professionals and agencies that represent and reflect the dominant groups in society. They will enter a helping relationships with caution as they size up the professional. For example, they may evaluate the fellowshipper’s trustworthiness by asking, directly or indirectly, about his or her life experiences, family, children, and opinions. The professional needs to respond to these probes with honest, non-evasive answers. Because visiting people in their own home is usually seen as an indication of caring and respect, the home ‘fellowship’ visit may help the fellowshipper build trust.

Ask fellowshipper’s to explain their beliefs and culture, and ask for their advice in how you might adapt your helping methods to their values, traditions, and customs. Do not be afraid to say that you do not understand. If you genuinely care for the others and demonstrate concerns for their situation, most will explain what you need to understand about their way of life. It often helps to use a bit of self-effacing humor (i.e., laughing at your own ignorance) when asking questions about things you do not understand about their way of life. This display of humility makes you less threatening.

When you need to better understand certain cultural or ethnic factors, seek appropriate consultation. Contact leaders in the ethnic community and express your desire to learn about their values, beliefs, and way of life. They will usually offer their assistance of they perceive your interest to be genuine. Also attend celebrations, ceremonies, and other cultural and religious events sponsored by the group.

Be alert to the fact that societal or systemic problems (poverty, unemployment, poor housing, lack of access to healthcare, etc.) bring ethnic minorities to agencies more often than do psychological problems. Thus, the provision of concrete services and the practitioner roles of broker and advocate are of special importance.